I did it!

Got em. It was published.

That’s actually what I originally wrote in this place. And it was meant as a joke but it surprisingly led to a bit of an aha moment for me.

For the last few years, I’ve been afraid to write for many reasons:

• What do I have to say? Exactly — nothing.
• Who is there to listen? Exactly — no one cares what I’m thinking.

But more nefariously I think the real reason I’ve not been writing is, what if none of what I have to say is good enough? And I think that is actually what has stopped me from writing. That any information, thoughts, or feelings that I could synthesize have no real value to anyone else. That I go through every day trying to do good into the world, and it won’t matter and won’t change anything. And I think that’s enough to remind me that this is absolutely bullshit. I do too many things out that genuinely help people every single day. And even if I didn’t the way I try to solve problems is always something that people appreciate.

For example here are few problems I’ve solved as of late:

• Adding custom tags to junit to allow for custom reporting in DataDog
• Analyzing a repository and figuring out pieces of code that needs to get modified so it can upgrade from node 6 to latest
• Being able to tinker around and learn a bit about how to publish packages

All of these things are learnings that I have that others may want and I should remember that this knowledge I’ve acrued is through hard work. The experiences I bring are valued and valuable to others. And even if they weren’t, they are valuable to me, past, present and future. To show I’m not the person I was and I’ve become the person I’ve wanted to be, and continue to be the person I dream for!